


Lust, desire, love

by AlAngel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Nudity, abusive “relationship”, smut (very little though)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 07:42:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11100042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlAngel/pseuds/AlAngel
Summary: The story of how a prince of hell who never cared for humanity and their stupid emotions fell in love. Sometimes it's a very fine line between lust, desire and love.





	Lust, desire, love

Title: Lust, desire, love  
Characters: Asmodeus x Reader, Azazel (mentioned)  
Word Count: ~3.9k  
Warnings: abusive “relationship”, smut (very little though), nudity  
Request: How do you imagine Asmodeus, the last prince of hell ? Can you write sth about him ? Apparently, he was a cupid he killed all Sarah's husbands and he's known as the demon of lust. || Yeah Asmodeus x reader would be nice. You can make it dark, but the reader has a consensual relationship with Asmodeus, so no rape. I think there is other ways to make it dark: cheating, guilt, adultery, deny, religious family, sibling rivalry... the reader is a little hypocrite or tortured about her relation. Asmodeus probably likes to remind her she doesn't want him to change or she wants him even if she knows how bad he's. What do you think? You can write everything you want, just no rape  
A/n: First thank you so much, nony, for making me dig into this character. I had a great time creating head canons and a story for my very own Supernatural character! I really hope it also turned out anything like you imagined Asmodeus for yourself. I’m more than willing to write more for him if you or anyone else wanted to request. || All head canons and research results can be found here for anyone who’s interested.  
…  
A long time ago, you could barely remember, you had been human. Life back then as well as now had never been kind to you, but still being human had a certain touch to it. There were so many small and unimportant things you could concern yourself with, so many things to experience in the short time that was a life time and so many emotions to feel. Now you had eternity and you didn’t even know how to feel about it. So much happened and changed, you weren’t human these days anymore. Yet if you were honest with yourself you still felt a wide range of those petty emotions you hated and loved at the same time, because even after centuries you never quite figured them out.

It had been a beautiful summer day centuries and centuries back. You remembered gods, simple people and the first tiny steps humanity took towards becoming the civilisation it was today. And you remembered first seeing his face, it hadn’t change much in all those long years though. His eyes were brown with a hint of a yellow glow, his hair dark as the night and stormy, and then there was his smooth olive like skin, his pale lips as if there was little to no blood rushing through them. He had been standing there at the edge of a yellow field not even noticing you, for you however this had been the moment you first felt your heart being drawn to him. He seemed like the centre of the earth, everything you ever wanted and more, standing there so close and yet out of reach.  
All the things you felt back then had been overwhelming but also beautiful and unlike anything you ever felt before. Your whole body shivered at the thought of running your hand over his cheek and down his chest. Never before did you have such desires, you had always been a good girl. But seeing him changed you forever. That moment when your thoughts drifted to all the places you wanted to touch, to be touched in, was when he looked over at you. As soon as his brown eyes met yours you felt you face heat up but you didn’t even have it in you to be embarrassed. The tingling low in your stomach increased and your feet made their way over to him without a second thought. He smiled knowingly, his eyes sparkling as his kissable lips turned upwards, he waited for you to make your way to him.  
That had been your mistake. You had chosen him. You wanted him. At the end you sealed your own fate.  
That night he peppered your whole body with kisses and touched you in places no one ever touched you in. He filled your body with sparks. When you asked him for a name in between breathless moans and noises you didn’t even know could pass your lips he told you to call him your prince. And you gladly did encouraging him by name to keep touching you right there.  
“You sure you want me?” His voice was so smooth and warm, his hot breath right next to your ear “You know everything in this world has its price?”  
“Please” His fingers were almost where you needed them most, but not quiet touching you. It drove your insane with wanting and frustration.  
“I can make you feel so good” His words caused another frustrated moan from you “But I need you to make a deal for it. Agree to pay the price later and I can make you feel things you never felt before. All night.”  
And so you did and he went on with touching and caressing you as you came undone first around his long and slender fingers and then his hard cock. You loved the way he could make you feel, the way his chuckles sent even more excitement through your body. He made you feel so good.  
Then came the morning and suddenly you didn’t feel good at all. Your body was sweaty and starting to get cold as a light morning breeze swept over it. The smile on his face was gone, replaced by a mask of indifference, within an hour he seemed to have forgotten all the sweet things he had whispered in his honey like voice.  
Your prince was already buckling his pants back up when you laid there, starring at him in shock. Suddenly you felt naked and vulnerable. Your shock made him chuckle, but humourless and cold, sending another shiver up your spine this time not of the good kind.  
“Remember you wanted this” Was all he said, not even looking at you instead searching for his shirt “Just like all of you. I don’t know why I ever bothered with love. Your kind doesn’t want it. Your whole petty existence is driven by desire. You’re greedy little things.”  
That was another moment you remembered through all of your long life. The feeling of salty tear running down your cheeks as his words cut deep. There was none of that sweetness from the previous night in his voice instead it was filled with indifference and cruelty. Your heart filled with hate for this man, but also hate for yourself. There was a bitter taste in your mouth and no amount of swallowing washed it away.  
“Don’t look at me like that” His voice now dripping with sarcastic sweetness which only put more salt in the open wound that was your heart “You’re so human.”  
“And you’re not?” You felt your own voice cracking.  
“Never was, never will be” He winked “I can do so much better than that.”  
“What are you then?” You slung your arms around your naked body trying to cover yourself and hide from whatever he was going to say next. His amusement for your scared form was back but his smile was predatory.  
“I am” He paused to look you right into the eyes, they shifted from the magical brown to a glowing, catlike yellow. Immediately you jerk back which only fuelled his amusement. “A demon. I am dangerous. I am a prince of hell.” He paused again, the yellow in his eyes filled with a unnatural glee “And I own your soul now.”  
“But…”  
“But I made love to you?” He walked over to you his hand outstretched as if to pet a wary animal. On instinct you flinched from the touch you had caved so much last night, but his hand followed you anyway. With a gentleness that contradicted all his hateful words his hand caressed your cheek softly. “I was a cupid before, dear, I’ve seen a hundred girls like yourself. And I had a hundred girls like you under me, whispering sweet words into their innocent ears. I tempted and doomed so many. Laying with me always has a price. Some pay with their health or life, and some the ones I really want to corrupt I take their souls and make them dark like me.” There was an almost mad gleam in his eyes “And you know what? I love every second of it.”

That was the first time you cursed yourself for wanting him so much, the first time you woke to find him either gone or shutting the door on his way out. However you never learned. Your soul was broken anyway, lost for a night with a man who wasn’t even a man, and no matter how much regret filled you in the morning every night he showed up you wanted him so much. He made you feel alive, cared for, even loved and although your brain always knew it was anything but love that made him come back to find you over and over, you couldn’t find it in you to leave.  
As a doomed soul, a demon with black eyes and a black soul, you told yourself you didn’t care. You enjoyed the way he made you feel, the way every time he touched you was different, interesting and new. As a demon you didn’t need his love you didn’t want it, you wanted his body. Even as a demon you were so human with your emotions you had a hard time believing your lies yourself.   
There was another night that you’d forever remember. As with all the nights that were different and fateful it was a night spend with your prince. When he showed on the door step of your current meat suit there was an anger, like you remembered from the first morning you woke up with him, in his eyes. But it wasn’t directed at you. In fact he didn’t speak a word, didn’t try to seduce you with sweet words and a cocky smile. All he did was press his lips to yours, a taste of desperation you never felt with him before hit you, and you responded eagerly. He tasted just like you remembered but the way he kissed you felt different. Bold like you would have never been back as a shy human girl you pressed your body against his, pressing him up against the wall. The kiss was soon filled with his moan and you felt him grow harder. Something was different that night. You were in charge. This time it was you bringing him over the edge, working your body on top of his till he was a panting mess. It was also that night that when you leaned down to suck on his neck that he whispered his name in your ear. You immediately put the new knowledge to good use moaning it out loud as you both came undone together. It almost distracted you enough to miss your own name quietly mixed with his blissful groans.  
That night felt a lot different from the many others you had shared before. One thing however didn’t change you still woke up alone with Asmodeus, your prince of hell, gone.   
That night was followed by another major change in your life. Really, it seemed like whenever there was something happening he was an omen. On the next day after you woke up alone once more the word was spread that all the princes of hell were officially gone, all but one. Azazel remained the ruler of hell. The others were to be treated as if dead, hidden from your kind as well as angel kind. Something close to dread and sadness filled you. The prince you cared about and hated yourself for caring about had disappeared, leaving you to pick up the mess that was your life once more. There was no word of Asmodeus for a long time.  
Time as a demon was relative, you were immortal in a way that if nothing killed you you couldn’t die. Years and years went passed and you went on with being a crossroad demon. You never really forgot but you also didn’t try to hang onto a memory you rationally knew wasn’t worth it. There was no word, no label, for what you and Asmodeus had shared. However it also hadn’t mattered for a long time since whatever it had been was lost. 

Until he showed up again. He hadn’t changed much, the smile maybe a little cockier and is voice developed a slight British accent. But he was still the same, turning up on your door step willing to touch you and make you feel blissfully unconcerned about any kind of consequences. At this point you had shared a bed with other man, you weren’t the shy human girl he first seduced with his charm and good looks, but in his hands you were still melting like butter. He could still make you come undone with a look or a single word. This time though you at least tried to fight for some dominance remembering how great it felt being on top the last time you saw him a hundred or so years ago. You started to leave bites on his neck, your nails left red marks down his chest and neck and your tongue wouldn’t surrender your mouth quite so easily. In the end he was on top and you screamed his name, however it felt so much better knowing you had held yourself like a strong demon and not a weak human.  
You almost expected him to come back more regularly like he did before, but the nights were sparse like he had something else on his mind. It was again a life time or two before you saw him again. However that night he didn’t come to find you it was a pure chance meeting.  
It was an ordinary Friday night in a dodgy bar, you were looking for souls or entertainment or both, when you saw him and a woman. Her hair was a golden brown and you saw the way her eyes sparkled as she sat there on his lap. Although you had always known you surely weren’t the only woman for him, hell he told you you weren’t the only one that first morning, it still stung. With her he looked so happy almost human. His eyes were open and sparkled in a way they never had been when he was with you. He was relaxed, holding onto her waist like she was the most precious thing in the world.  
Instead of a night of fun you turned on your heels.  
“You saw me with Lia, didn’t you?” There hadn’t been a knock on your door this time. Asmodeus just stood there in the middle of your living room, his eyes on you. He waited you out, waited for any reaction at all. It felt so surreal seeing him anywhere outside the times he came to sleep with you. You didn’t know what to do with it if you were honest. You felt bangs of jealousy, hurt and betrayal where there shouldn’t be any emotions at all. Emotions where for ordinary humans. You wanted to be better than that.  
“Fine, don’t answer” He shrugged “It’s not like we were exclusive or anything. You know that right?”  
“You made me what I am” You flashed your black eyes at him suddenly your heart filled with bitterness “Why would you think I wanted anything from you?”  
He had seduced you, stolen your soul and your perfectly ordinary life. He took all you had back then. And still you had wanted him afterwards. He was like a curse, following you wherever you went never quite gone from your life. It didn’t make any sense even with all those things he made you feel you shouldn’t. You were a demon, stone cold and cunning. You weren’t supposed to feel or care.  
“If you wanted me gone all you had to do was ask” His eyes turned a dirty yellow as he stared right into your black ones. For a moment both of you held each other gaze, but then he turned. It was the first time you saw him leaving not just closing the door, you watched his shoulders and back slightly slumped. His body spoke of reluctance and determination at the same time and you almost stopped him. But you swallowed your words. This was what he wanted. You never had meant anything to him anyway, you were just as replaceable toy to him. And he should be nothing more to you. As the great demon of lust he might knew how to handle a woman in bed, but he didn’t know how to treat her after. You’re a demon you don’t care, your brain supplied once more and again you tried so hard to believe it.   
Being human was funny really. Humanity and all those emotions they felt got you into this mess. Your desire upon seeing Asmodeus had been your undoing. So you had tried so hard to be a good demon and leave it all behind. But you failed. You could feel the tears running down your cheeks as you watched Asmodeus leave. It was then that your heart kicked back in, it arched for him, longed for his sweet touch and his warmth. With all your heart and (none existent) soul you wanted him to stay, to hold you and be yours. It wasn’t even just his touch you wanted anymore. Now you wanted everything, you wanted the one thing even the demon of lust couldn’t give. Love.

Again centuries passed. By now you were used to the idea of spending eternity, roaming earth for desperate souls until one day a hunter would kill you for good. On the inside you already felt dead. You didn’t feel like a demon ever since Asmodeus had walked away for good. There was always a lump in your throat when someone gave their soul for love or someone they loved so much they thought was worth dying for. Had love always been this painful? Had it always been so sad and desperate?  
For the first time you understood Asmodeus words from your first morning. Humans really were so desperate and greedy for being loved and appreciated, they longed and suffered so much. It was both sad and beautiful to witness. Through all the time you wished to be different from them, sometimes you stood in front of a mirror just to flash your black eyes and remember what you were, deep down you knew you weren’t. Soul or no soul Asmodeus had walked out that door with your heart. You were the one demon on earth that loved.

It was another beautiful summer day, the sun was shining on your skin warming you in a way you hadn’t been in a while. Sitting on the porch of a human house felt oddly calming after a night of deals, at least right until some stepped into your sun and caused a shadow to fall on your face. With a frown you opened your (y/e/c) eyes only to be met by a pair of brown ones you hadn’t expected to see ever again.  
“Asmodeus?” You questioned not daring to take your eyes off him or even blink in fear that he might vanish again.  
“Hello, (y/n)” He said, his voice sounded different again less cocky and more broken. Something you never expected he could sound like.  
“What are you doing here?” You studied his slightly swollen eyes and his unsure stand. Something must have happened that changed the proud and self-assured prince you remembered so well.  
“I need you” Was all he said before he leaned in to claim your lips. However you turned, letting his lips meet nothing but your cheek. Your heart was pounding fast but it also remembered all the heartache this demon had caused you.  
“What if I don’t want you?”  
“I…” He looked at you in wonder and with sad eyes alike “I’ll leave again.”  
“Good” With that you pressed your lips to his. You’d send him away in the morning you promised yourself. But you wanted something to remember. You wanted to feel human at least for this one night, to be able to love and make love, feel that wonderful painful emotion all those people sold their souls for. And then you’d send him away and lock your heart for good.  
The next hours were filled with passion and a rush of adrenaline. It felt good to have him back, trace all those familiar patterns on his body, and hear all those familiar noises while trying to tickle some new ones out of him. This time when both of you reached your climax you heard him moan your name loud and clear same as you did with his.  
When the rush of passion died down you found yourself in his arms. He traced patterns on your stomach while you just laid there daydreaming about things you couldn’t have.  
“You want to hear something funny, (y/n)?” He asked all of a sudden but didn’t wait for a reply “I’ve been on so many spectres before but somehow I can’t seem to figure things out. I’ve been a cupid, then I fell. I’ve been a demon of lust, then I fell. Now I’m a witch, have to call myself Patrick of all names, and all to hide how far I fell.”  
You didn’t reply, unsure of what to say to that.  
“Love is strange and so human. I should be better than that. I’m…”  
“A prince of hell” You finished for him pushing out of his arms “I remember.”  
“It’s more of a title than a job these days. I retired.” He shook his head his eyes following you intensely as you started to get dressed “Why is it one of us is always getting dressed to leave whenever we’re having a serious conversation?”  
“Oh” You only threw him quick glance “I thought this was you soliloquizing again about how terrible emotions and humanity was.”  
He looked taken aback by your cold words. “Come here for a sec, dear” He crooked his index finger in a come here motions and you followed. When you were within reach he pulled on your shirt until you landed in his lap with a gasp. Immediately his lips found yours, using the opportunity of your open mouth. Though the kiss was deep it was also slow, filled with something that was definitely an emotion but passion didn’t quite cover it. When he was done leaving you breathless he leaned his forehead against yours. “No. This is me doing something incredible stupid”  
“Hm?”  
“I want you to be mine. Exclusively and mine alone. I want everyone to know it is my touch and my kiss you carve above all. I want you to choose me. I want… I want you to love me.”  
“Why?”  
“Because I love you” He swallowed “I never felt the need to come back to a girl until you. All those centuries you were right there, willing. I loved your body but… It wasn’t enough. When we left hell I thought I was done. But I came back. Then Lia happened… You have no idea how confusing it is to want you to be jealous while I knew I should belittle you for it if you truly were. But it didn’t matter. You saw me with her and you didn’t care.”  
“What if I had been jealous?” You asked looking at him in curiosity. His hand laid loosely on your hips, loose enough for you to flee any time, but still warm and firm enough so you could feel his touch even through your too long shirt.  
“Then I’d have walked away from having what I wanted too easy.” He closed his eyes “Lia died last week. She… she loved me. Her eyes sparkled for me and when I put my hand on her heart I could feel it.” He demonstrated his words by reaching for your heart “Just like yours. She taught me what being loved means. What it feels like.”  
“She sounds like a good person” You said trying to pull away again, uncomfortable listening to him praising this other woman so much.  
“But she wasn’t you” He continued, his hand still over your heart holding on to the shirt you wore loosely “I gave her all the affection I could but… I left what little heart I have that day I pushed you away to punish you for not being jealous.”  
“You’re… you’re a very strange man, Asmodeus” You said slowly trying to find his eyes. They were just as soft and beautiful as the day in summer you met. But something in them changed. It looked almost as if there was a thin line of soft tears in them.  
“I’m no man at all and for the first time in all my existence I feel like it’s a shame. I never knew what bravery it actually took to love.”  
“For a lust demon and a former cupid it really took you an awfully long time to learn” Finally he let his brown eyes met yours they were filled with hope and wonder. Maybe just maybe he was able to give you what you wanted after all. Maybe it took both of you an awfully long time to figure it out. Maybe love was just a bit more complicated for a prince of hell and his very own princess.


End file.
